


Fearless

by moondropss



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - No Pennywise (IT), Coming Out, Eddie Kaspbrak is a Mess, Eddie likes Richie, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Mutual Pining, all the losers are 16 or 17, idk how to tag, let's hear it for the bravest loser Eddie Kaspbrak everyone, mentions of henry bowers, mentions of stanlonbrough and benverly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2020-10-31 01:23:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20783687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moondropss/pseuds/moondropss
Summary: Five times Eddie Kaspbrak pretended he was fearless and the one time he actually was.





	Fearless

**Author's Note:**

> Hi Hi this is my first reddie fic ever so I hope it's okay! I had a lot of fun writing this too so I hope it alright!! Enjoy!

_ I. _

Eddie Kaspbrak can’t remember a time when he wasn’t scared.

Fear. It’s omnipresent, constant, as permanent as the scar on Ben’s chest.

Eddie’s always been afraid, struggling through the motions of surety like a puppet. There’s an endless well of it, fear, that threatens to consume him. There’s little he knows, little he’s familiar with, that can draw him from it. Except for one thing.

Richie Tozier. Resident Trashmouth, loser, and pest. Whenever Eddie was around him, he has never felt as sheltered and scared as he always has felt. Of course he felt carefree with the other losers, but with Richie it was just a whole other feeling that made Eddie feel like he was soaring. 

Here, looking over the quarry with his six best friends by his side, he still felt a little woozy though he had done it a million times. Bev, of course, jumps in first.

“I will never get over that, how the fuck does she do it so easily?” Richie exclaims watching Bev hit the water below. Soon all of them follow, jumping in one by one, the last two left on the edge were Richie and Eddie. Eddie inhales sharply, looking over. He couldn’t put his finger on it but something about this time jumping into the quarry felt different. 

“Whoa, Eds, you okay?”

“Don’t call me that. And I'm fine, we should jump in now.” 

Seeming like Richie could read his mind, he says, “I know you’re scared but you can do it if me and all the other losers can,” Richie jumps off the quarry, leaving Eddie with those words. If Richie believes in him he could do it. He took a deep breath, pretends to be fearless, and leaps off.

Being around Richie Tozier made him feel safe, and brave. Eddie has never been very brave, but with Richie he feels an overwhelming sense of confidence, but not like he feels with the other losers. He loves his friends, but Richie is... _ different _ . 

The other losers play in the water, enjoying the last few weeks of summer. As Eddie swam he felt lost in thought.

“Eds, seriously are you okay? You’re acting weird as shit today and it’s kind of freaking me out, can you go back to your smart ass self?” Richie splashes him as he comes over. 

“I’m fine, Rich. Just not feeling well. I think I'll head home, see you guys later.” Eddie swam to the closest land he could find and walks back to the bikes. 

Eddie’s home had always felt like a prison. Well, not always. Maybe when he was younger, it felt more like home, but it hasn’t felt like that in a long time. 

As Eddie enters his house he was bombarded with questions from his mother, as he expected. He pushes past her and goes up to his room, and for the first time in a long time, Eddie Kaspbrak began to cry. 

Eddie doesn’t remember when he falls asleep, but when he wakes up it’s dark out and he hears a faint tapping on his window. He rubs his eyes, looks over, and there was Richie. Eddie sighs, opening his window, letting him in.

“Thanks Eddie spaghetti, are you ok? You left so suddenly, everyone was worried,” Richie said taking off his jacket and sitting on Eddie’s bed. 

“Yeah, I'm fine Rich, thanks for checking in.” 

_ Though you really didn’t have to. Being around you makes liking you so much harder _ . Something inside him whispers. He brushes it off.

“Did you sleep?”

“I guess. I don’t remember falling asleep though, I haven’t showered yet either.”

“Where’s your mom?”

“Downstairs, sleeping I’m guessing. She questioned me when I got home, didn’t really wanna talk.”

“Sleeping huh? How about I jump in and join her? She’ll get some more of my sweet sweet love!” Richie jokes.

“Beep Beep, Richie,” Eddie lies down on his bed, staring at the ceiling.

“Eddie seriously, with the way you’re acting lately it’s freaking me out. Are you mad at me? You’re not acting this way with anyone else, and you always bail early whenever we hang out in a group.”

_ Because I like you, idiot.  _ Something else inside him whispers. He wants to say it.

Instead, he says, “I’m fine, I promise. Just in a weird mood lately, I don’t know how to describe it. I’m sorry Rich, I'm not mad at you or anything.” 

“Thank fucking god, I don’t wanna lose you as a best friend Eds,” He reaches over, pinching Eddie’s cheeks, Eddie just smiles.

_ Best friends...that’s right. That’s all we’ll ever be. _

After a little while of sitting in a comfortable silence, Richie stands up, shrugging on his jacket. 

“I’m getting tired, I rode over on my bike so I should head home now.”

“Okay, be careful. Bye Richie.”

Crawling out the window, Richie looks back and smiles. “Bye, Eds”

He  _ likes _ him. And not in a best friend way. Eddie wants to hold his hand, cuddle him, and kiss him whenever the fuck he wants to. But, he can’t do anything about it.

Eddie buries his face into his hands. He is  _ so _ royally fucked. 

_ II. _

Eddie has never been to an amusement park. His mom had completely banned them from his childhood.

“Oh, Eddie bear they’re too dangerous! On a roller coaster you could die! You have no idea when any of the rides could break down. Don’t ever go on them.” 

He had listened, and never went to an amusement in his 16 years of life. So, when his friends invited him to go to one, he was psyched. He knew his mom wouldn’t approve, so he made up some lie about hanging out over Ben’s house. Eddie’s mom liked Ben the most out of the six of Eddie’s friends. It seemed she made up excuses for not liking any of them, but never for Ben.

Eddie rides over to Bill’s house on his bike, as he neared he saw the losers talking on the porch waiting for him. He drops his bike onto Bill’s yard and goes up the steps.

“Hey Eddie!” Almost all his friends greet, except, there was one person missing.

“Where’s Richie?” The question slips out of Eddie’s lips.

“Right here. Hey Eds, looking cute today,” Richie replies, coming out of the house.

_ Cute? _ A smile plays on Eddie’s lips.

“Not looking so bad yourself, trashmouth.”

“Y-You guys a-all ready? My duh-duh-dad is going to drive us th-there,” Bill says.

Everyone nodded, and they set off. 

It took about an hour or 2 to get there so while everyone chatted amongst themselves in the car, Eddie stays silent. 

“Eds- Eddie- Come on Eddie spaghetti, wake up,” Richie was shaking Eddie sometime later, the car wasn’t moving anymore. 

“Wh-?” Eddie sat up and stretches. The car was uncomfortable on his back, he must’ve fallen asleep.

“We’re here, you slept through basically the entire car ride,” Mike laughs.

“Now that Eddie’s awake, let’s go!” Bev says opening the doors, and hoping out.

Everyone scrambles out of the car after her and Bill’s dad tells them that he’d be there to pick them up around seven or eight.

Eddie was scared again, there was that feeling. He could feel his breathing getting unsteady so he reached into his fanny pack, grabbing his inhaler and uncapping it. After a few puffs he felt better.

“Eds? Is  _ the _ Eddie Kaspbrak scared of amusement parks?”

“Shut the fuck up Rich, you know how my mom is,” Eddie mumbles the last part.

“Right, sorry Eddie, I didn’t mean it.” 

Eddie shook his head, “It’s okay.”

After refusing almost every ride, Bill eventually convinces Eddie to go on one. Only one, and if he didn’t like it he could sit out for the rest.

So he does. 

Waiting in line, Eddie’s breathing was uneasy, he decides to keep his inhaler in his hand in line. 

“Eddie.” 

“What?”

“Calm down,” Richie soothes, “It’ll be fine okay?”

_ Why are you so good at reading me? _

_ Am I that see through? _

“I’m just scared.”

“I know, Eds but i’m sure you’ll have a ton of fun! You’re braver than you think, you’re one of the bravest people I know.”

Those words stuck with Eddie.

_ You’re braver than you think.  _

_ Eddie could do this. _

“Don’t call me that.”

“What? Bravest person I know?”

“Eds.”

“I know Eddie, only messing around,” Richie winks.

_ What the fuck what the fuck what the fuc- _

Soon the ride was back, and next it was the losers turn on the ride. 

Eddie took one more puff from his inhaler, and steps onto the ride. 

Turns out, roller coaster are fucking amazing. Eddie felt free.

Eddie rode every single ride after that, enjoying himself.

“I’ve never seen you so carefree, Eddie,” Bev says, catching up to him.

“I’ve never been to an amusement park before, this is fun. I’m having a blast.”

“I’m happy you are, what’s the next ride?”

“How about that one?” Eddie points to a big red roller coaster.

“Sure, race you there!”

Eddie makes it first.

Later that evening, when Eddie was back at his house, he couldn’t sleep. He had such an adrenaline rush from that day.

He hears tapping on his window and he goes over, pushing it open. Richie came crawling through. This has became a daily thing. Richie sneaking out and coming over at night, them talking for a couple hours and him leaving.

“Eds!”

“Stop, don’t call me that.”

“Why? Such a cute nickname for such a cute boy,” Richie sits on his bed next to him.

Eddie felt his cheeks heat up,  _ what does Richie mean by this? _

“Shut up.”

“Never, Eddie spaghetti.”

_ Good, please never stop talking. Please. I could listen to you talk forever _ .

“It was good to see you like that today,” Richie suddenly says, looking over at Eddie.

“Like what?”

“So happy, carefree. I always wanna see you happy. It’s such a good look on you.”

Eddie knew he was blushing furiously now. Being around Richie by himself for too long had that sort of effect on him. 

“You think so?” Eddie manages to get out.

“I know so.”

They talk for a few hours until Richie inevitably has to leave.

Eddie felt so free and brave today, he wishes he could feel that way all the time.

Maybe he will...eventually.

_ III. _

School was starting soon, soon as in, tomorrow. Eddie was nervous, more nervous than he was to ride the roller coaster at the amusement park. He felt like he was going to throw up, but he knows if he does his mom will keep him inside the house for weeks on end, never letting him out. It was his first time in high school and Eddie really doesn’t know what to expect. He doesn’t want to see Henry Bowers, that’s for sure. He had one too many encounters with him over the summer where he got the shit beat out of him and he kind of doesn’t want that to happen on the first day, or any day for that matter.

Eddie was pacing now. He was so lost in thought that he almost doesn’t hear the tapping on his window. Almost. He looks over to see Richie waving at him, so he lets him in.

“Hi Eds! Are you ok? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” 

“Don’t fucking call me that for the millionth time, and no, I’m not ok. I’m scared to start highschool,” Eddie sighs, pacing again.

“Hey, hey Eddie, chill out, come here,” Richie opens his arms out to him.

Eddie contemplates for a moment before deciding on walking into them, hugging him. He rests his head on Richie’s shoulder.

“It’s ok Eds, alright? Relax. Breathe. Tomorrow, everything will be fine! You’re gonna ace all your classes, you’re gonna do great, okay?”

_ How is it Richie is the voice of reason? _

_ How can he make me so calm in a matter of seconds? _

_ I really really like him.  _

“How are you so calm?” Eddie mumbles against his shoulder.

“I’m not, you’re just more stressed than I am.”

“Rich hey, tell me what you’re feeling, I won’t judge you,” Eddie says, pulling away from the hug, but staying in Richie’s arms.

Richie shrugs, “I don’t know? I’m just really nervous, not really anything to be worried about, I’m just worried about you.”

“I’m ok, are you?” Eddie whispers.

“I’m fine, my Eddie spaghetti, thank you for worrying.” 

Somewhere in the time they were talking Eddie notices their fingers are laced together.

“Stop with the stupid nicknames,” Eddie rolls his eyes but smiles.

“Aw come on! Eds is so cute. Like I said before, a cute nickname for a cute boy!”

“Shut up, come lay down with me.” 

_ Was that weird? Should I have said that? Fuck- _

If it was weird, Richie doesn’t say anything, instead he crawls into bed with Eddie and stays with him till he falls asleep.

When Eddie awoke, Richie wasn’t in the room anymore. He felt a small tang of disappointed but he knew he would see Richie and his friends in school.

“Eddie bear! Time to wake up! You have school!” 

Later at school, Eddie was still freaking out but just a little...less. 

Eddie had almost forgotten but he grabbed his inhaler on the way out the door. As he was about to put it in his mouth it’s plucked out of his hands.

“Nope. Not today.”

“Rich, give it back.” 

“You’re gonna be fine, just breathe. Relax.”

“I kind of fucking can’t if you have my inhaler?” Eddie glares at him.

“It’ll be okay, I’ll give this back to you at the end of the day, I know you can make it a day without it.”

“Richie,” Eddie sighs.

“Hey, I know you can do it.” 

“I just-”

“Hey Eddie, hey Rich,” Eddie was cut off by Stan when he walked his bike over with the rest of their friends trailing behind him.

“Hi Stan, tell Eddie he doesn’t need his inhaler today, will you please?” Richie went and wrapped an arm around Stan’s shoulder.

“I mean he needs it to breathe and if he’s having an asthma attack then-”

“Hey guh-guys, what’s huh-happening?” Bill says, the rest of their friends catching up to them.

“Richie is saying Eddie doesn’t need his inhaler,” Stan explains.

“Whatever, I’ll be fine, I always have my backup-” Eddie says, reaching into his fanny pack but not finding a spare.

“What the hell, I know I put it here? Where did it go?” Eddie dug around more, but couldn’t find anything.

“You mean this one?” Richie says, holding up 2 inhalers.

“What the fuck! Where did you get the other one?” 

“Took it last night, Just in case you ever lose your inhaler or something I figured I should start carrying one of them around.”

_ God damn it, that was fucking cute. _

_ Fuck you Richie why do you have to be so cute? _

“Oh…”

“Richie, you gonna give him his inhalers back?” Ben asked him, and Richie just shakes his head.

“That’s what I thought,”

The losers chatted until it was time to go to class.

Eddie was still nervous about how strict everything was going to be and how much work he would get.

_ Relax, Eddie. It won’t be that hard. It’ll be okay.  _

The school day soon ends and Eddie picks up his bike to go meet his friends at the clubhouse.

_ Richie was right, I really didn’t need my inhaler today. _

_ Why was I so panicked over nothing? It was fine. Hopefully the rest of the year will be this easy. _

After biking for awhile, Eddie finally makes it to the clubhouse. Seeing his friends bikes already near the entrance, he drops it in the pile and goes down.

“Eddie’s here!” Mike announces as he saw Eddie climbing down the latter.

“Hey Eddie,” Everyone greets him.

“Hey,” he greets back.

“Eds! C’mere,” Richie calls from the hammock.

“Don’t fucking call me that, what do you want?”

“Here,” He took Eddie’s inhaler from out of his pocket and hands it to him.

“Thank you, you were right. I really didn’t need it today, I was worried over nothing,” Eddie takes it and puts it in his fanny pack. 

Richie adjusts his glasses, and turns his attention back to the comic book he was reading.

“Told ya Eds! You wouldn’t listen.

“Move over,” Eddie gets in the hammock with him.

“But my ten minutes wasn’t up yet.” 

“You hog it anyway so whatever,” Eddie shrugs, picking up a comic of his own. 

The hammock sways, and as the day turned into night, Eddie found himself paying less and less attention to the comic, and more to Richie, his unruly dark hair, his glasses, how focused he was on the comic. How can Richie be so beautiful without even trying?

“Eds, you wanna take a picture? It’ll last longer,” Richie jokes and Eddie snaps out of his thoughts, quickly getting out of the hammock.

“Um, I have to go home. My mom will probably be waiting and it’s late. So um, yeah bye guys.”

Eddie climbs up the ladder to his bike and rides home.

_ Why do I have to have a crush on Richie, of all people? _

_ He’s my best friend, I don’t wanna ruin our friendship.  _

_ I really need to get over this crush. It won’t do me any good in the future. _

_ IV. _

It was the weekend when Eddie’s friends visited him unexpectedly. Eddie was sitting in his room doing homework when he heard the doorbell ring, he assumes it was one of his mom’s friends so he shakes it off until he hears his mom call him.

“Eddie bear! Some ‘friends’ are here to see you!” Eddie runs down the stairs only to see three of his best friends standing at the door talking to his mom.

“Um, hey guys, I wasn’t expecting you today,” Eddie says, going next to his mom at the door.

“Um, mom, you can go inside, I’ll be back in,” Eddie steps out on the porch, closing the door behind him.

“So we were juh-just headed to the quh-quarry and we wondering if yuh-yuh-you wanted to cuh-cuh-come, luh-later we will have a suh-sleepover at my house,” Bill says before Eddie could open his mouth.

“We’re gonna pick up Stan, Ben and then Mike, but we were hoping to get the whole losers club.” Bev explains, smiling. 

“Come on Eds! It’ll be fun, we haven’t had a sleepover in awhile.”

_ A sleepover? Haven’t had a sleepover with Richie since before I liked him...oh god. _

“Um, I have to ask.”

“So ask, if you can’t I’ll convince your mom for ya Eds! She loves me, she told me so just last night,” Richie pinches his cheeks and Eddie slaps his hands away.

“Shut the fuck up, I’ll ask.” 

Eddie slowly opens the door, ushering his friends in.

“Um...Hi mommy, I was wondering if I can go to Bill’s house and sleepover?”

“Is it just you and him?” She asks, not taking her eyes off the tv.

“Uh, no, the rest of my friends too.” 

“Including..your Marsh friend?” 

“...yes?” 

She finally turns her attention to him, pursing her lips. An uncertain expression fills her face. 

“And what’s this about the quarry?”

Eddie could feel his friends eyes burning a hole into the back of his skull.

“We were just going to hang out there...nothing bad,” Eddie tries.

“I hope you’re not thinking about jumping off that big cliff into the cold water...you could get sick and also the impact from that high of a jump could kill you.”

“Mom, can I just go?” 

“You have homework, and you could get sick, I don’t think so,” Eddie groans, his mother always does this.

“You know, Ms. K, we really were just gonna hang out at the quarry. No jumping in or anything, and Eddie doesn’t have to sleepover if that’s not okay with you, we’ll have him back by dark!” Richie pitches in.

“Ye-yeah puh-please let Eddie cuh-come it’ll be only fuh-fuh-for a cuh-couple hours.” 

“Eddie will be back by dark! Swear,” Bev smiles sweetly at Eddie’s mom.

“No, I think it’s time for you guys to go. Especially you Ms.Marsh. Eddie bear, go back to your room and finish your homework.”

Eddie shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath. Here goes nothing...

“No.”

“What?”

“No. You always treat me this way. It’s bullshit! If I want to go out with my friends for a few hours it’s fine! We won’t jump in the quarry like you’re so worried about, we were just going to hang out there. You need to stop keeping me in this protective bubble all the time I’m almost fucking 17 years old!”

“Edward Kaspbrak, you will not talk to your mother this way!”

“I’m going with them, and I’m not coming home tonight so don’t wait up,” Eddie rushes up the stairs to his room to pack his bags.

“Eddie! That was so fucking badass, standing up to your mom like that! She keeps you on way too tight of a leash,” Bev went on as they ride their bikes to Stan’s house.

“I’m going to be grounded for the rest of my fucking life,” Eddie groans.

“At least you stood up to her. Someone has to. She can’t keep you sheltered for your entire life,” Richie shrugs.

“Yuh-Yeah Eddie suh-someone had tuh-to say suh-suh-something, that was buh-brave.”

“I don’t feel very brave.”

“Like I said before Eds, you’re braver than you think.”

_ Right. I’m braver than I think. _

_ I have to keep thinking that. _

After picking up the rest of the losers and hanging out at the quarry for a few hours, they all make their way to Bill’s house. The losers had decided to have a movie night at Bills when they were at the quarry a few hours before.

Halfway through three of the movies, everyone had passed out, except Richie and Eddie. They were on opposite sides of the room, but Richie starts to get up to move closer to Eddie. 

On his way over, he trips, his glasses falling off his face and onto the floor.

“Ow fuck!” Richie yelled, holding his knee he hit on the floor

“People are sleeping, don’t yell.”

“I can’t help it!” 

“Let’s go outside,” Eddie whispers, standing up, wrapping his jacket further around himself and stepping around their friends sleeping on the floor and silently opening the door, motioning for Richie to follow him.

When Richie catches up, he closes the door and stares up at the starry night sky.

“See, now you can be as loud as you want, no one to wake up.”

“It’s not my fault I tripped.” 

“You weren’t watching where you were going.”

Eddie sits down on one of the deck chairs and stares up at the sky, Richie sits down next to him.

“Eddie, seriously I can’t get over how you stood up to your mom earlier, that was awesome.” 

He shrugs, “I should do it more often. Like you guys said, she can’t keep me on her leash forever, what’s she going to do when I'm an adult?”

“Exactly.” 

Richie is quiet for a moment and then speaks up.

“You’re so brave, I know I say it a lot but I really fucking mean it Eds, I know you don’t think you’re very brave but you really are.” 

“Thank you Richie.”

The two boys sit in silence watching the stars, silently moving closer and holding hands.

The next morning, Eddie heads home. 

His mind was swirling with the possible punishment his mother had possibly come up with when he was away. As he enters his house, he swallows the lump in his throat and make his way towards the stairs, which was sadly past the living room.

“Eddie, is that you?” 

He sighs, “Yes, mom.”

“Come here.” 

He silently curses, and makes his way to the living room.

“Eddie, I am so disappointed in the way you spoke to me yesterday. You’re grounded.”

“I figured.”

“No television, and when you get home from school, straight up to your room to do your homework, no friends for a week.” 

“Okay mom.”

“That’s it, now go finish your homework.”

He goes up to his room, puts his bag down, and lays down on his bed staring at the ceiling.

_ Worth it. I got to watch the stars with Richie. And that’s not even half the punishment I was expecting.  _

_ V. _

Eddie’s crush on Richie is getting worse. He likes him so much he can barely  _ breathe _ . Being around the losers automatically means Richie is there. So, naturally Eddie starts to distance himself. Nothing too big, just hanging out less and less, making up lies that his mom grounded him for getting a D on a quiz. It helps Eddie breathe a little more, and it doesn’t hurt being around him as much.

But, it also hurts without Richie. Richie can brighten up Eddie’s day in an instant. He may make stupid jokes and has no filter, but that’s Eddie’s best friend. He loves him.

“ _ Fuck, _ ” Eddie mumbles. He couldn’t really keep hiding this from his friends for much longer.

At lunch he tells the losers to meet at the clubhouse because he has something important to tell him.

Eddie was nervous. Actually, nervous was an understatement. He was  _ terrified _ . What if they stopped hanging out with him? What if they all hate him? What if-

_ Deep breaths Eddie, deep breaths. _

Around the time Eddie leaves to meet them, he was shaking so badly he couldn’t ride his bike straight.  _ But then again, when does he ever do anything straight _ ?

He reaches the clubhouse a little later than expected and everyone was already down there. 

“Eds there you are, we were worried about you,” Richie sighs in relief when he sees Eddie climbing down the ladder.

“You’ve been avoiding us lately, everything okay?” Stan asks.

“No,” He answers honestly.

“If you wanna tell us, you can, but we won’t push you if you don’t want to,” Stan replies.

“No, I want to. Um, I have something to tell you all. I really hope it doesn’t change your opinion about me or makes you stop hanging out with me, but I need to get it off my chest.”

“Go ahead, Eddie, nothing could ever change our opinion of you, we’ll always be friends,” Mike says, smiling, encouraging him.

Eddie’s breathing was uneven already. He reaches into his fanny pack and takes a puff of his inhaler, helping him. He does not feel brave in this moment at all, but he could pretend. 

“Um...i’m...i’m gay,” He manages to find his words, after saying it he squeezes his eyes shut, and buries his face in his hands. Here it comes...

“Eddie, we love you! Nothing could change that,” Mike.

“You’re amazing Eddie, I’m so proud of you,” Stan.

“Nuh-Nothing could ever stop muh-muh-making us huh-hang out with you Kuh-Kaspbrak. We luh-love you no muh-matter wh-what,” Bill.

“Eddie! I’m so proud of you, I know how much courage that takes. You’re so brave. We love you,” Bev.

“You’re so brave Eddie, I’m so proud we would never stop hanging out with you,” Ben. 

“Eddie fucking Kaspbrak. I am so fucking proud of you,” Richie smiles, going in to hug him. Everyone joins in.

Overwhelmed with everyone’s support, Eddie begins to cry.

“Whoa- whoa hey, Eds, what’s wrong?” He hears Richie say softly.

“I love you guys so much. Thank you for accepting me.”

“We love you so fucking much Eddie,” Stan says.

“Yuh-you’re still the biggest fuh-fucking luh-loser I know, that wuh-won’t change,” Bill grins.

The group hug continues until Eddie stops crying, and until he can barely breathe.

He grabs his inhaler, uncaps it, takes a puff, and relaxes.

“I feel so much better now,” Eddie admits. 

Later that night, Eddie is riding home with Richie. He feels lighter, and happier. 

“I’m so proud Eddie, I’m so proud of you,” Richie says again.

“I’m proud of myself Richie, I felt like I was lying to myself for a long time but I finally figured out who I am,” Eddie smiles at Richie, and he smiles back.

“I’m so glad.”

Richie stops in front of Eddie’s house with him.

“Well this is where I depart, see you tomorrow, Richie,” Eddie hops off his bike and begins to walk it around back when he gets stopped.

“Eddie.”

“Yeah, Rich?”

“Can I kiss you?” Eddie’s eyes widen at the question and his heart rate begins to sped up.

“Um-”

“Only if you want to I just-”

“Yes.”

“What?”

“Kiss me.”

_ Is this really happening? _

Richie leans in and soon his lips were pressing against Eddie’s. 

_ This feels like a fucking dream. _

After a few moments, they pulled away for air, staring at each other and panting a little.

_ I wanted this for so long. _

“Rich- What?”

“I like you, Eds, I have for a little while.”

“Huh?”

_ You like me? _

“I like you, spaghetti man.”

Eddie scrunches up his nose.

“You ruined the moment.”

“What? How did I ruin the moment?!” Richie exclaims.

“Shhh tone it down, and nobody calls their crush ‘spaghetti man’,” Eddie quotes.

“I do,” Richie smiles.

“Ugh, I hate you.”

“You were just kissing me a minute ago,” Something gleams in Richie’s eyes.

Eddie blushes.

“Asshole, just go up to my room, I'll be there in a second,” Eddie says, finally letting go of Richie and picking up his bike again.

Eddie meets Richie in his room a few minutes later, after talking over a few things Richie has to go home, and Eddie was left alone.

Richie still doesn’t know the full extent to Eddie’s feelings, he had a chance to tell him but it slipped his mind. The most Richie knew is that he only liked him for a little while. They both had big crushes on each other and didn’t even notice.

_ Did anyone know about Richie’s crush on me? _

Eddie was positive no one knew about his crush on Richie, he didn’t tell anyone about it. But he might’ve been being obvious about it before he came out to his friends. Would they tell them about...whatever they are?

_ Right. I came out to my friends. _

_ That was one of the scariest things I've ever done. _

Soon Richie’s words were repeating in his head.

_ You’re braver than you think. _

_ I am pretty brave... _

Eddie falls asleep with a smile on his face and Richie on his mind.

+1

After the kiss, and talking over everything a little, Eddie and Richie have been hanging out more by themselves. They haven’t decided on anything, but Eddie is...confused. He doesn’t really know what they are. They kiss every once in awhile, but friends don’t  _ kiss.  _ He wants to know what Richie considers them to be. He also knows Richie doesn’t know the true extent about his feelings, and he doesn’t know if Richie wants to be something more, or stay just friends.

So, one day when he’s sitting in his room with Richie, he asks.

He clears his throat.

“Rich?”

“Hmm?”

“Um...what are we?”

The question catches Richie’s attention, and he turns to him.

“We’re friends.”

_ Oh…so he doesn’t feel the same way? _

The pain Eddie felt must’ve been prominent of his face because Richie is quick to correct himself.

“No! I mean, I really like you Eds, like you’re the perfect boy for me. I meant we’re friends who kiss sometimes, and I would love to put a label on us but I don’t want to if you’re not rea-”

Eddie cuts him off by kissing him.

“Idiot, of course I wanna be something, I don’t kiss all my fucking friends for fun, asshole.”

“You better not!”

“I want to be more than friends.”

Richie grins, “best friends?”

Eddie rolls his eyes and pushes him.

“Boyfriends it is!”

The losers start to notice that Richie and Eddie are more touchy with each other, and hanging out with each other more often, so they ask them about it one afternoon a few weeks later.

Richie and Eddie share a look and decide to tell them.

“I have a confession to make.” 

“Okay, what is it?” Mike asks.

“Me and Eddie’s mom are in love. I’m sorry but you all had to know,” Richie confesses, Eddie stands up and hits him in the back of the head. 

“Beep beep, dumbass,” Eddie grumbles.

“Ow, Eds! I’m just telling the truth!”

Eddie takes a deep breath, and Richie reaches for his hand to hold it. And for once, Eddie didn’t fear. He wasn’t afraid. 

“Richie and I are dating.” 

“Congrats you guys! How long?” Bev asks.

“Around 3 weeks, it started when I was over to see my beautiful wife Mrs. K.” 

“Beep fucking beep trashmouth oh my god,” Eddie pulls away from Richie’s hand, making a face.

“No but seriously, me and my lovely Eds here have been dating for 3 weeks.”

_ My lovely Eds.  _

“Don’t call me that.” 

_ Please keep calling me that. _

“You’d think that since we’re dating now he’d let me call him nicknames, turns out. Nope.”

“You guys are cute! Congrats, I think it’s time to tell you that Bev and I have been dating as well,” Ben blushes, reaching for Bev’s hand.

“I called it!” Richie yells.

“Mike, Bill and I are dating too,” Stan admits, looking away with a blush on his face.

Mike and Bill just smile.

“I’m so happy for all of you!” Eddie smiles.

Later that night, Richie and Eddie were in Richie’s room on his bed. Eddie decided to sneak out and visit Richie for a change.

“Hey Rich.”

“Yea, baby?”

_ Baby. Did he just call me that? Oh my god... _

“I feel like I never really got to tell you the true extent to my feelings, so can I?” 

“Of course you can, Eddie,” Richie smiles, reaching out to grab Eddie’s hand. Eddie wasn’t scared. He wanted to tell Richie this, he knew he wouldn’t make fun of him for revealing his true feelings. 

Eddie places a quick kiss on Richie’s lips before speaking.

“I started to realize I liked you around one of the last days at the quarry,” Eddie admits.

“Specifically the day I went home early and was acting all weird. I was figuring out my feelings for you,” Eddie absentmindedly rubs circles on Richie’s hand.

“I figured out I really liked you that day, and my feelings went from there. Every little thing you did make me like you even more, and I started avoiding all of you guys because I thought it would make my feelings for you go away because being around you hurt,” Eddie finishes, looking at Richie.

“I had no idea, if anything, I thought I was the one with no chance,” Richie admits.

“What, why?”

“I mean, i’m a trashmouth, I make jokes about fucking your mom every 10 minutes, I’m not really that serious about anything except you,” he shrugs.

Richie had his moments, but he wasn’t a bad guy.

Eddie pins Richie down against the bed.

“Whoa Eds-”

“Please don’t talk bad about yourself, you’re so much more than all of that.”

“I’ll try not to, being around you makes me want to be better,” Richie gives him crooked smile.

Eddie took his time admiring Richie for a few seconds, his dark hair falling against the covers and brown eyes gazing at him through thick lenses. 

“You gonna kiss me or what?”

Eddie rolls his eyes, but leans down to press their lips together.

After kissing for a few minutes, they pull away for air. 

“I really really like you Eds, like seriously,” Richie admits shyly.

“I really really like you too, Rich,” Eddie smiles at him and soon they were cuddled up together on Richie’s bed.

Eddie has lived his whole life afraid. Except for now, Eddie no longer wanted to live in fear, he wanted to live his life. And he finally will. Richie had given him the boost of confidence he always needed. Richie had always made him feel safe and happy, and with that feeling, who cares about what anyone else says or thinks? 

**Author's Note:**

> and that it! Thank You so much for reading!! I have some other reddie fics planned too and i'll post them here whenver I write them! I hope you enjoyed! You can follow me on my twitter if you want (@1975rlchie) [first i is an L] or my tumblr (@shapelesspace!!) thank you again for reading and I hope you have a good day/night!!


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